I've never really been fond of families with tons of children. I'm sure parents find ways to spend quality time with their children, but I don't know how. Growing up, it was just my brother and I and that was plenty. Derek has two siblings and never felt left out, but any more than that and I'm not sure how kids wouldn't feel left out. I look at the Duggar's and even "smaller" families with 6+ children and wonder how each of their children feels like both parents are there for them at all times. If you have to have a buddy system within an immediate family where an older sibling is the main 'help' for a younger one, does that mean you had too many to handle? I won't get into the economic and religious arguments for their choices, it's just my two cents on larger families in general. And I might be bias towards smaller families in an unfair way... maybe they have perfectly fine family dynamics.
But back to grandparents. As much as I would love Drew to grow up with cousins, much like we did, it's not in the picture for us. Our siblings are all in relationships, but they are either too new, or too young to start a family. Drew will be significantly older than his cousins and most likely our next child will be a bit older as well.
Here's where it gets sticky.
I don't mind that Drew is the only one. In fact, I kinda revel in that reality. I know my jealousy would spike if there were 5 little grandchildren running around together. I LOVE that my son gets 100% of his grandparents attention. I like knowing that both Gramma and Mimi get to focus all of their grandchildren Christmas shopping on Drew. And seeing their houses filled with pictures of Drew makes me smile. I feel as though a higher power knew I would do better with the first and only grandchild for a while before throwing others into the mix.
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My little turkey is the one and only, and I absolutely love that.
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| Deanna Rose Farmstead visit - 10.20.2012 |
I am in the same situation and I am sooo with you!! I love that avery gets all attention, trips based around her, and pictures everywhere.
ReplyDeleteI would have been sooooo jealous if another grandbaby took that attention away anytime soon. The closest to that is my brother who just got maried, as in last week. And I know they are planning on waiting at least 6 months to try. So its just avery for at least a year possibly two.
And that makes me happy!
Thanks for sharing. I have thought this post out but couldn't have written it better!!!!
I'm one of 5 kids, and I can tell you that I never felt "left out" because of the number of siblings. It was just our (fun) reality. I loved growing up with lots of siblings! Don't you think that only children must think that kids with ANY number of siblings would feel left out a times? Sure, there were a few times where my parents had to choose between one kid's softball game and another kid's event, but I guess IMO that just taught us that we couldn't be the center of everything all the time. Parents' attention is always going to be divided - be it because of other children or work or whatever is going on in their lives.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, I cannot imagine having more than 2 kids myself - in retrospect, my parents spent a LOT of money raising 5 of us! Stella is the first grandchild on my side, and yes, it has been nice getting all the grandparent attention, but it makes me really sad that she won't have any cousins close in age. I was SO close to my cousins growing up (that I am still close with now), and family will always be your family!
I dunno...the grass is always greener I guess. :)
On my side, my boys are the only ones and on my husbands, there are 7 boys under 6 years old. It is nice to have both!
ReplyDeleteYa know, I had never really thought about this before, but I think it's a good thing I had the first grandchild too. There was a bit of jealousy when my dad remarried last year and one of his new wife's daughters had her first baby a few months before mine b/c my dad got to experience that baby before ours. However, he got used to holding a baby again after 25+ years so it kind of worked out. Drew is definitely loved and will continue to hold a special place in his grandparents' hearts because he was the first. :)
ReplyDeleteSavannah is the 3rd grandchild for my family and the 1st for my husband. So I guess we get the best of both. I never really thought about it before:-) My niece and nephew barely ever see us and my mom watches Savannah during the day for us so it's really like she's the one and only on both sides!
ReplyDeletemy hubby's the youngest of 6. and i think just b/c he's a guy he says he's never felt left out, but i think he was a little bit. and now my son is the 17th grandchild on that side. but he's the baby baby so he does get a lot of attention. but he's the 1st grandkid on my side and i do love it!
ReplyDeleteHi Sarah! Thanks for introducing yourself to me!
ReplyDeleteI come from a small family- one biological brother and a stepbrother. I didn't get the grandparent or even aunt/uncle experience because my entire extended family lives in Poland. I didn't realize what I was missing out on until I met my husband, who has a twin brother and an older sister - but has a huuuuuge extended family (his mother was a Miller.. enough said!). Getting to be a part of a 90+ member family has been really cool - anytime we travel within 3 states, we typically have a cousin we could visit along the way.
Penny is the youngest of her current generation of cousins - she was born at the end of a baby boom for our immediate family. She has 3 cousins (all boys) who are less than 9 months older than her! I really look forward to her growing up with essentially 3 older brothers, without me having to do the dirty work ;)
I was at first a little disappointed that she wasn't the first grandchild for my side of the family, but she gets extra special attention because she was the only girl born in this baby boom :)
On my side of the family my son is the only grandchild which would be pretty amazing barring other issues in our family!
ReplyDeleteWe are having another one in two months so he won't be alone for long! I looove that on my husband's side of the family he is one of 4 great grand children all around the same age it's pretty great plus he has close to 20 cousins!!
It's INSANE.
Enjoy the time and make sure you get tons of pictures my in-laws passed away when my son was young and my mom is too sick to enjoy my son now. :)
H&H are the first grandchildren(on the only side that matters) and I'm really glade they are, their even the first great grand child. I honestly thought before I had them how I would equally share my love between two and didn't get how people juggle 2+ kids but now that there here I can totally see how and I am a single mother
ReplyDeleteOur little guy is the only grandchild for two sets of grandparents (we have 3 sets) and it is wonderful!!!
ReplyDeleteI was the only grandchild for 9 years! I loved it. When my cousins came along I was super jealous, but eventually I loved having someone to play with. We have two daughters now, and I think that two is enough for us. They aren't the only grandchildren, but they are the youngest, so they get lots of attention!
ReplyDeleteWanted to let you know, that though I'm not a big commenter, I love your blog and have been following you for a while. My blog was recently nominated for the Liebster Award and I'm passing it on to you! Check it out if you would like to participate! http://www.anythinggoessalem.com/2012/10/liebster-award.html
I have to say, this post made me sad. I have six children, and no one is "left out". My husband and I are there for our children whenever they need us, and we work very hard to make sure each child feels special and loved. As for "the buddy system", we don't have one, but our older kids do choose to play with and help their younger siblings. I am so grateful for this relationship, not because it makes my life easier, but because my husband and I will not be here for their entire lives. I want my kids to have lots of siblings so they will forever be surrounded by love, even when my husband and I are no longer here. As for the cousins, we had three children before any of our siblings had one. Our kids received plenty of adult attention, but they aren't the ones that are thrilled to get together with relatives. It is the younger kids, who have cousins their age that especially love family gatherings. They have a blast with their cousins, and I love that for them.
ReplyDeleteI have to say this, not in anger, because I know you didn't mean it, but you came to my blog and left a comment to come visit yours. Imagine my amazement when I come and find a post saying you don't agree with the choices I've made for my family.