(my apologies in advance for a word-heavy post!)
Fast forward to now with a 2 year old who we would like to attend Sunday school most weeks. We knew it was time to find a church up here seeing as how we'll be in Cleveland for a few more years and the search was on. The problem? Everyone in Cleveland is Catholic.... or at least that's what it seems!
Church #1: It was very small, smelled like moth balls and we were the youngest there by 30+ years. And that doesn't mean it's not a nice church, we just want something with younger families where Drew can make friends. Moving on.
Church #2: A bit better but not 'it'. We attended a couple of times, liked the sermons, but the 3rd time we went, no one was there to watch the toddler room. And I wasn't really impressed with their childwatch process and how easy it would be to snatch a kid from a room. Moving on.
Church #3: Um no. We'll just leave it at that. It was tiny and we really just didn't connect with the pastor's message. Moving on.
Church #4: Attended 4 times. At least a 25 minute drive, but better. The childcare and Sunday school wing are great with great teachers and a lot of kids. Yes it takes up a lot of our Sunday to get out there but we liked it. It went on the backburner in case we can't find anything else.
Church #5: Felt SO much like our home church. We were very impressed with the childcare and school classrooms and there were tons of young families. After attending a few times, we thought we had found our church home.
And then I read the pastor's weekly note in the program. I don't even remember exactly what it said but I did read "homosexuality is a moral sin" and was appalled at how they had brought in a spiritual healer to 'rid the gay' out of people. Um, WHAT?! I almost jumped up in the middle of the song to go snatch my kid up. Derek and I are all for equality and absolutely will NOT have our child be taught that being gay is a sin. Who knows what else they believe there! Needless to say we were done with that church. Moving on.
Church #6: Drove by it, saw like 13 cars out front and kept on driving to Barnes & Noble instead.
So here we are. Churchless once again. As I pouted about our situation, I remembered that a couple of our friends invited us to join them at their Catholic church. A quick google search later led me to find out that there really aren't major differences in the two faiths and it would hurt to explore the option. And, in case you're wondering, one of the priests where our friends go isn't against homosexuality as I know some are.
In the end, it's all about Drew. We want him to have a church home where he can learn the basics of the bible and faith surrounded by a church family full of good people. If the Catholic faith believes the basics of what we believe as Methodists, would it be wrong to test it out?
Are you not Catholic and have attended a Catholic church? Do you think we should just try it out and see what it's like?
I'm not catholic, but my husband and his family are. Emma was baptized in my church, but my church is over an hour away. So we don't go very often. But, I have been to numerous masses at my husbands family church. It's not a lot different than my chuch (i'm episcopal), but there are not a lot of young families that attend. We have tried the Episcopal church here in our town that we live in, but again, nothing against the older generation, but we were by far the youngest family there. It's definitely hard to find just the perfect church. Good luck!! =)
ReplyDeleteAh, we had similar issues when we lived in Salt Lake City trying to find a Protestant or non-denominational church home that was NOT Mormon. Fortunately we found a great one quickly, but it's not always that easy! I don't have any advice specific to your situation regarding Catholic churches, but I hope you come across the "right" one soon :)
ReplyDeleteI'm really glad you shared about your search for a church with us and I felt like I was in the middle of finding a church while reading!!! :) I am Catholic, so I don't know if I would have much insight on being a Methodist like yourself. If nothing else, it's worth a shot to just show up and see how it feels. There is never any pressure to take communion - but you are welcome to go up during communion with your arms crossed over your chest to receive a blessing! And I love that the priest at the nearby church isn't against homosexuality! I hopeyou let us know where you guys end up!
ReplyDeleteBeing Protestant, I've also found it difficult to find a church that "fits". I've found that most people around here are Catholic as well. And while I haven't attended one of the Catholic churches, my advice to you is to do what you're comfortable with. If you've found that this catholic Church is what fits for all of you right now then I say go for it! :)
ReplyDeleteI am a Catholic and can tell you that not even catholic parish is the "same". Like all churches, the father who is saying mass really sets the tone for the church. But I will say that all of the different parishes that I have been to seem to have lots of young families which is nice. Hang-in there, I am sure that you will find church that is a good fit for your family.
ReplyDeleteHi Sarah...I hate church shopping!! It sucks:( I am from a very small church where my dad is a pastor, and so finding other churches like it was hard! When I moved to Calgary, I went to a big church by default, which was fine, but rather large. I hope you find the church that suits your family, but remember, NO CHURCH is perfect...it is kind of like marriage..let some of the little things slide...if you can. As a Protestant, I do believe that being gay is a sin, but not to hate the sinner. I think it was rather strange to have a spiritual healer come in and "rid the gay" during a Sunday service..if someone wants to do that on their own time, go ahead, but a sunday service is not the place. What about that church that was a way out of your way? Yes, if you can find a church that Drew likes, that is SO important, but don't forget yourselves as well. You might want to talk with pastor about your thoughts on homosexuality, and ask him why he thinks it is a sin? Just dont leave (unless it is TERRIBLE) a church before asking some quesitons of / to the pastor.
ReplyDeleteI am no longer practicing but was raised Catholic and attended weekly all growing up. Like someone else said every one is different to some degree depending on the priest. Although in my church at least it didn't really work for other religions to just join in without "converting" so to say. I mean, if you wanted drew to have First Communion and Confirmation and all that good stuff growing up I think you would have to officially become Catholic (and I appologize if this is incorrect---that's how it was in my church though).
ReplyDeleteMy Catholic church was pretty "stuffy" and wouldn't be my first choice now if I was church shopping. In my experience it's hard to find young, open minded, "fun" Catholic churches! But that's not to say they don't exist somewhere :-)
Good luck!
I was born and raised Catholic, and still believe most of their teachings, although as I've gotten older, I have learned that its okay to disagree with some of the their teachings. I married a non-catholic, and although I want to raise my kids to know about the bible, etc, I also don't believe in forcing any one set religion on them, or on anyone else for that matter. I told my husband I would never make him go to the Catholic church with me, or bring the kids until they were a bit older, either. We have decided to go to a non-denominational church together ... at least for right now. We may revisit the topic later down the line ... but I say there is no harm in seeing how you like it, and what its all about! What's the worst that can happen, right?!
ReplyDeleteI'm Catholic (but I'm from Cleveland, so I had to be right ;-)) and I've struggled with the same sort of thing since moving to my husband's side of town. I haven't totally connected at his home parish yet, but I do thing the possibility for that connection is there and the pastor who married us is great.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, whether you're looking at trying out a new faith or just switching churches within a faith, it can be a tricky process. You want to find the right fit and have it mean something. It shouldn't be easier to stay in bed or go shopping or to yoga on Sunday mornings. You should want to go. I hope you find that fit, whatever the denomination!
As a Protestant (Evangelical) I've found that there are several foundational differences in theology between what we believe and what Catholics believe. That said, it's wise to do your own research and pray for discernment during this process. As for beliefs on homosexuality, again pray for discernment as you read what the Word of God says on the matter.
ReplyDeleteFinding a church is HARD. I agree with the other posters that no church is "perfect" - but I do NOT agree that you should go to a church that says being gay is a sin if that's not what you believe, just because you like the rest of it or they have the best Sunday School. That is one of their CORE TEACHINGS - and not something you want your son to associate God with (IMO).
ReplyDeleteI'm ELCA Lutheran (which is probably one of the most liberal divisions of Christianity), and my church allows gay Pastors, etc. They also don't think that ART is a sin (due to Infertility, we conceived my daughter with an IUI - some churches, including Catholic, say IUI/IVF is a sin). For us, it was important to find a church that taught love and equality above all. Saying "I hate the sin but not the sinner" is a total cop out in my opinion - hate is never good, in ANY form.
Good luck deciding. For us, we couldn't go with Catholic, because though they are also Christians, there were a lot of fundamental differences between that they believe and what we believe (I was raised ELCA Lutheran - my husband was Presbyterian). Catholicism just seems pretty exclusionary to me as well. For example, if you're not a baptized Catholic, you cannot take communion - where in my church, if you believe in God, all are welcome at his table, no matter what.
I was raised Catholic but don't go to church often right now at this stage in my life. I think you should do what is best for you and your family. Go w/ your friends and check out the church. If you like it then great. I have always thought it is more about the message you are listening to and if it feels right then great. Sorry you've had such a bad experience finding a place to call your home church. It can be tough.
ReplyDeleteWe had the same problem in Austin, TX. It is, as we have a learned, one of the top churchless cities in the nation. We searched for a nondenomination church for a few months, we finally found one we belong to. We've been members for a year and a half, and suddenly the pastoral team is in transition. All of them have been called to do other things they say, so we are now in the process of consolidating our church into a bigger church that will adopt us. What a mess! We may end up looking elsewhere if we don't mesh well with the new pastors.
ReplyDeleteFinding a church is definitely a challenge! My husband was raised Catholic and I was raised Baptist, but we both consider ourselves non-denomonational now. We've found a Methodist church that we really like, but unfortunately, our daughter is absolutely terrified to be left in the nursery. After visiting 4 weeks in a row, and getting called out of the service each time because she never calmed down, we decided to take a break for a while. Back to watching sermons online. She starts preschool in the fall, so hopefully that will help her separation issues.
ReplyDeleteFinding a church can be so frustrating! I hope God leads you to the right one for y'all very soon!
ReplyDeleteSarah, I also wanted to let you know that I have nominated your blog for a Liebster Award - you can find all the details on my latest blog post :)
www.LaurensGlassSlipper.blogspot.com
I'm not Catholic but my husband is. I am very open to every kind of religion even though I was baptized Methodist. So, we married in the Catholic Church at my husband's request and it was one of our vows to raise our children in the Catholic religion. I have no desire to join the Catholic faith but I have absolutely no problem attending a Catholic church.
ReplyDeleteI go every Sunday and participate in everything but Communion (for some reason I feel like it's against the rules for me to take a Catholic Communion!). Jack will be baptized Catholic and maybe one day I'll join the church, too. Like I said, though, right now I just have no desire. I feel like I can be just as close to God as any of the people in our church who are actually Catholic.
All in all - I say follow your heart; God will show you where you belong at this point in your life. :)
Maegan
lovethemama.blogspot.com
Came across your blog from another one I follow. I was raised Catholic but my family never participated in church. We went on holidays and I attended PSR classes. When I met my husband at 16, he invited me to his Lutheran church where he was very active. I loved the sense of community it gave me and ultimately that it helped me to seek Christ in my day to day life. I'm actually from a suburb in Cleveland, have lived in Boston for a few years, and am now returning to the Cleveland area with my family. If your near the North Royalton area, I can give you the information about the church we attended. It's very child/family oriented!
ReplyDeleteGood luck finding a church. Go with the one that feels right :)
ReplyDeleteYou probably know I go to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (often called the mormons:-) ) One thing I really enjoyed about traveling down to Disney world was stopping at the different Mormon churches on the way. One in Charleston and one in Jacksonville. And you know what? each one was teaching the same gospel message from the same beliefs and scriptures. I know what my kids will be learning the same gospel principles no matter where we might move. I have many family members who are gay, my brother included. And he and my lesbian cousin and her girlfriend are always welcome at church, There was a big controversy over the boy scouts changing policy whether to let gay scouters in or not, and the Mormon church was actually one of the biggest supporters to change the BSA rules to allow gay boys in. The best way to find a church is to do what the bible says in James 1:5-6, sincerely pray and ask God which church you should join. in the meantime, feel free to check out www.mormon.org If you ever want to talk about it, let me know! and as a side note, if you ever want to come to church with us-- I am the nursery leader for the 18month -3 year olds:-) We go to church in Lorain (far for you guys I know) but there is also one in Westlake. ok ok, I've got my missionary rant done:-)
ReplyDelete