Drew is not walking yet. And he is 14 months old.
I realize that the norm for children to start walking is between 12 and 15 months and I realize that we have another month before we are out of that norm. The problem, however, is the societal pressure that is weighing on my shoulders and the headache I'm causing myself with my competitive nature. It's frustrating seeing 9 and 10 month olds walking on facebook and hearing of friends babies who are "finally" walking at a year old. I try to keep telling myself that I didn't start walking until I was 15 months old and am just fine. I also remind myself of the old wives tale that babies who walk too early become bowlegged.
None of it helps.
It goes much past the frustrations above as my mind begins to race. Have I already failed Drew and put him on the 'slow' path to learning everything? Was there more we could have done to help encourage walking? Is it my fault? I understand that some of you might think this all sounds ridiculous, but I am being honest with myself. Walking is a big deal to me and seems to become bigger each day that passes with Drew crawling on the ground.
The boy can stand. Oh he can stand forever in one spot if you leave him there and sometimes we'll get one step forward, but the kid looks scared out of his mind. About a month ago, we got him taking 2-5 steps in between us and were super excited as we thought walking was on the horizon. Little did we know that about a week later, we were done with that fun and he would just sit when you let go of his hands. The kid loves nothing more than walking with his Dino and other walkers, but for some reason he gets scared when he's not holding on to anything.
Judging eyes don't help either.
My kid is big. And very tall and when we're at the mall and a shorter 24 month old walks up to him, I can feel the parent looking at me with judging eyes wondering what is wrong with my child. I've joked with friends that I'm going to make a shirt that says "I'M ONLY 14 MONTHS OLD!", but in the back of my mind, I'm partially serious. It would be so much easier if he was a tiny kid, or if I didn't care about what others think, but neither of these are true. He's big. And I care. And that's a formula for mental disaster.
So there. For anyone who is wondering about this milestone, there you have it. Drew isn't walking and we're not sure when it will happen. He is happy and healthy though and that's all that matters. Err.... well all that should matter anyway.
It's so hard not to feel like you could do more or aren't doing something right, but I am sure you are doing an amazing job raising your little boy!!
ReplyDeleteI can say I feel the same way when it comes to chloe and rolling over. At first I just said she was a laid back baby but now it seems odd. All these three month olds are and my seven month old isn't. I just told JJ tonight it's hard to not compare. Every baby is different. We need to remember to let them learn at their own pace and try not to stress about. Easier said than done, I know. Until the doctor says it's an issue, I'll let her be. Hang in there mama! :)
ReplyDeleteYou have not failed him Sarah, at all! He is happy, he is healthy and THAT is all that matters! Walking will come, trust me! I've had 4 friends whose children didn't walk til 17 months, and now that they are turning 2, they are running around, just like every other two year old!! He's just cautious and there is definitely nothing wrong with that!! Have faith and patience that walking will come...and then you'll want him to stop because that's all he'll do! :) You're a great mom, and to him, you're perfect! :)
ReplyDeleteThat must be so hard. I really try hard not to judge because you never know what the real story is.
ReplyDeleteI hope he gets there soon, but if nothing else, know that you have one cute little man there!
I applaud you for your honesty. It's only natural to have frustrations as a parent and to doubt ourselves when we see our kids not hitting certain milestones when others their age are. Kids just develop at an individual pace. He'll do it when HE is ready, not when what other people assume for him is ready. :)
ReplyDeleteHarrison walked after 1 yr. I walked then, Jack walked after that. It's no big deal. Honestly - never compare or pay attention to other kids. I gave that up a long time ago when I realized Harrison was constantly behind other kiddos his age. This time of their life is way too fun for worrying. I promise. Push it all out with the garbage and get back to having fun!!!! :0) You're doing great!!!!!
ReplyDeleteBigger kids don't walk as quickly as more petite babies! He is fine! It took my little guy months between his first steps and when he was actually WALKING - and a LONG time to get the hang of it.
ReplyDeleteWe have friends with little guys who are REALLY advanced and didn't walk until they were 17-18 months old.
Plus, have you seen the research that the longer babies crawl the better for their brain development?
Maybe this will make you feel better, maybe not, but my Dad has always said that when babies start walking, they're walking "without brains." I'm one of 5 kids, and my parents learned to be thankful for those of us that started walking later. It bought our little brains a little extra time to develop and our muscles a little extra time to coordinate and strengthen so that we weren't constantly walking into things and/or falling down! Try not to worry about it, and instead just be grateful for a little extra time with your cruiser. :)
ReplyDeleteI like Josey's comment. Try to think of it as a blessing in disguise.
ReplyDeleteBut seriously, I completely get what you're going through. I feel like I'm always pushing milestones on Taylor instead of letting her try to do them at her own speed. It causes a lot of stress.
Hang in there.
And I bet your standing still 14 month old is cuter than almost all the mobile 9 month olds! :)
Thanks everyone for all of the comments. I really appreciate the encouragement and I am trying to focus on the positives and not letting my own internal struggles take hold of my emotions! And GiGi, I read that research and found it very interesting!
ReplyDeleteSarah I feel your pain. My Drew walked later too, but I think he's pretty darn smart and can run around with all of his 4 year old peers just fine! I hate to tell you, but this is just the beginning of comparing kids and worrying. I try hard not to worry about those things, but I've worried that Drew didn't know his colors, letters, numbers, etc. We worked on colors with Drew forever and he didn't care at all and the next thing I knew he knew them all. It is all about the right time for the individual child. My biggest concerns right now with Drew are recognizing numbers and riding a bike WITH training wheels (I know several kids his age already riding without training wheels and he can hardly do it with them). Anna on the other hand, has done everything ahead of Drew's schedule. Hang in there, you are just going through normal mom feelings!
ReplyDeleteI couldn't find a way to email you, so I'm just posting here b/c this is the post I needed to read right now. I'm having all your emotions you wrote above about my sweet Taylor. I swear that EVERY kid in blog land (including tons who are younger than Tay) are walking and Taylor just has no interest. She cruises like a maniac, loves her push toys and will walk all day while holding our hands, but she won't even stand up unassisted. She gets nervous and plops down.
ReplyDeleteBasically, I'm dying with this stupid pressure of "WHY ISN"T SHE WALKING" and I needed to vent to someone who has been there before....so, yeah. There it is. I'm in your shoes back when Drew wasn't walking yet. Bah.