I know phases come and go, but this one has been going on for a couple weeks and I have to admit that it's been pretty soul crushing.
Along with Drew going through a definite 'trying threes' phase, almost at the same time a couple weeks ago, he began this daddy-only phase as well. Double whammy. But I get it, kids go through phases and it's a normal part of development. Just like his slobbering and nail biting and yes/no phases, we'll get through this one too.
And then Saturday at 1:12pm, we hit the lowest point possible.
We were in the pool and he was clinging to daddy and wouldn't let me play/hold/swim with him. Fine, whatever. I'll just hang out and enjoy the weightlessness feeling on my big belly while they bond more. Then at one point, Derek said "why don't you jump in once to mommy". Instantly his smile faded, he looked at me with a pouty face and said "I don't like you, I want daddy".
My stomach clenched.
Thankfully we were in the pool and I had my big sunnies on, or Derek and others would have seen the tears streaming. I played it off well but my insides felt like they were burning and I was beyond crushed. I get that my pregnancy hormones are already raging, but I was full on fighting a nasty cry.
We all say things like this growing up. I'm sure I said that to mom or dad at some point, but I wasn't expecting that until Drew was a teenager or around then. I'm sure he didn't mean it, said "I love you mommy" out of the blue only a bit later, and life went on, but I will never forget those words.
Ever.
It's the timing that stinks the most. I had hoped to enjoy more snuggles, kisses and sweet moments with my little man over these next 7 weeks before baby sister comes. I wouldn't have minded if this phase had come right when she's born as it would have probably made life a bit easier on all of us. I guess that's life though.
Someone please bring me a margarita.
(that i can put in the fridge and drink in 7 weeks)
Gah - you're right. Just bad timing. Taylor says things like that to Andy a lot and I know it's like a punch in the gut, especially (like Derek) Andy is a very hands on father. But it truly is just a phase and those words + pregnancy hormones + normal fear of bringing in #2 just makes it hard to hear.
ReplyDeleteBut I think we all know (even your bloggy friends) that Drew worships you. You probably just can't throw him as far in the pool as Daddy can! :)
I'm sure I'd be holding back an ugly cry even without the pregnancy hormones. I don't look forward to when my kids say things like that, but I know pretty much everyone says stuff like that to their parents at some point in their life. I know I did. Definitely bad timing though. I'm sure Drew will be all about Mommy again when he sees he has to share her with another kiddo.
ReplyDelete:( That nearly makes me cry just reading it! Brantley already loves his daddy waaaay more than me, and I'm sure he'll mutter those words to me sooner or later. And it'll make me feel better knowing I'm not the only one. Hugs! And on the plus side, at least we have hubbies that are hands-on, awesome dads that make them so easily loved by their kiddos.
ReplyDeleteOh hun, you put all the right caveats on this post - you obviously know it's just a phase and he doesn't truly mean it -- but that doesn't make it any easier, especially when your hormones are raging. Stella is constantly in a Mommy phase lately, and I know it's tough on Charlie. I'm dreading the day it flips the other way. :(
ReplyDeleteAw, I'm so sorry - that sounds horrible! Of course he loves you totally and is just going through this stage but I'm sure knowing that doesn't make this easier. Maybe you could think of this time as a time to try to pamper yourself and relax a little before the new baby comes. Soon this phase of his will be a distant memory!!!
ReplyDeleteUgh, that is the worst. Esp with pregnancy hormones, but still never something you are really going to enjoy hearing. Aria has only had the cling phase to mom and I'm sure it bums Chris out that she doesn't want him, but at least she can't verbalize it. Thank goodness he doesn't mean it! And, that it's a phase. I'm sure I'd end up ugly crying if Aria says that to me, pregnant or not. I'm not so great at holding the tears back.
ReplyDeleteOh, I am so sorry! Words like those sting, especially when you work/try so hard to be the best mama you can be. He will come around soon. And soon you'll have TWO littles to love on.
ReplyDelete*huge hug* I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how hurt your feelings were, mama. I am really, really dreading when Kiernan hits an anti-mama phase. Just know this phase, too, shall pass. xoxo
ReplyDelete:( Hugs sweet friend! I'm sure this will pass.
ReplyDeleteThese kids... they can be so brutal :( Davis definitely went through a rough phase in the weeks before Avery was born, but we had the opposite at our house - it was mommy-only for him, which was frustrating for both parents. You are right that it's just a phase, and he definitely did not actually mean that he doesn't like you, but I think the hurt feelings are very understandable :( sending you big virtual hugs!
ReplyDeleteOh momma… :( You're his mommy, and his whole world.
ReplyDeleteHang in there, this *is* just a phase. Hugs!!
Oh gosh! You poor thing! I know those words had to hurt so bad. Even without pregnancy hormones, it would sting. I know I would have been crying. He'll come around, and be lovin' up on you again in no time.
ReplyDeleteOh gosh, that does sting mama!! I can only imagine, without pregnancy hormones!! Know you are a great mama & he wiill come around! Hugs your way!! Xo
ReplyDeleteOhhhh :( that is so sad, Sarah!! Once Deuce comes I'm sure his feelings will change, though!! He's going to want ALL of your attention, love, cuddles and kisses then!
ReplyDeleteAww, I'm sorry. I'm sure those words hurt like hell but you know he didn't mean it. Just like you said, he followed it up with an I love you shortly after. Soon you'll be his favorite again! :)
ReplyDeleteMy heart sank just reading that too. I would have balled! Matthew is in that daddy phase too. He wakes up asking for his daddy and then when I say he's at work, he starts crying! I just want him to stay little forever and always want his mama! It'll be interesting to see what happens when baby sister comes along. Maybe our boys will then want us more when they know they have competition??!! Ha! Just think of the drama when they hit their teens, this phase will look like a walk in the park. :)
ReplyDeleteOh I've heard it all too already with my almost 4 year old! He will say things like I don't love you anymore, go back to work, etc, and I was the same way at first, SO upset, but then realized he was just saying these things for no good reason at all and I just had to look past the comments. I'm sorry it's already happening for you and you're right, it's just crummy timing!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry! I just wanted to say that I can so relate to this. Parker will tell us he doesn't love us because he knows it will get a reaction out of us. He doesn't say it often, but when he does it really stings. I'm glad you know this is just a phase though. He definitely loves you and always will!!
ReplyDeleteOh Sarah, I am so sorry to hear Drew is acting this way towards you :( Xavier went through a similar phase just a few months ago. It was the worst! He only wanted to play with Mic, be in the same room as Mic, etc. He would literally push me out of a room or take my hand and guide me out! Saying "Go mommy" or "Mommy out". He has since come back around to me :) But those were definitely some trying times. Hang in there! And try to enjoy the "alone" time before that precious little girl arrives :)
ReplyDeleteThat definitely hurts! I'm wondering if when Baby arrives he becomes extra clingy to you then. ??
ReplyDeleteBesides the main point of your story, what I read was that you were in a swimming pool lounging around. Jealous!!
Oh this broke my heart. I almost cried for you when I read those words. They say kids say the darnedest things, and we both know he didn't mean it, but I also know that doesn't make it hurt any less. I'm sorry you had to hear it, mama. This stage sucks! :-(
ReplyDeleteOh hun, I'm sorry. I know that it hurt but you just have to remember that he's a lil fella & he doesn't quite know how deep his words can cut. He does love you with all his heart & you just have to remember that. I've gotten the "I hate you" & the "I wish you were never here", they hurt but you have to know that they really don't mean them. Stay strong, girlie! Hugs! :)
ReplyDeleteugh kids know things to say that cut the deepest and i know i will experience that in a few years. raising kids are tough especially when they say gut-wrenching statements like that i'm sorry things are rough
ReplyDeleteNo matter the timing it still sucks. I think the younger they are when they say these things the more it hurts. Savannah will say things (she's 6) when she gets angry (I when I tell her no in one way or so another) but at least I can explain myself to her. And I most always end my explanation with an I Love You. She's also old enough to understand that words hurt.
ReplyDeleteWow I don't know how I would've handled that. I get told to go away a lot already when she's playing alone but not that she doesn't like me. I'm sure that time is coming. I just hope I'm wearing big sunglasses when it does come :) It sounds like you handled it the best you could. I'll have a drink for you tonight momma!
ReplyDeleteAww they sure know how to break a momma's heart :( it's hard I've been there. But it will pass I promise!
ReplyDeleteOh no, I can only imagine how this must have felt. You did good though. Maybe the timing isn't that bad though, maybe he is preparing himself for a sibling. Hang in there!!
ReplyDeleteHarrison is the opposite. He's a mama's boy. However I have heard him say to Adam (when he's mad), "you're not my best Daddy." Is it funny? Yes. But do I feel bad? Yes. The other day he did say "you're not my best Mommy and Daddy." Awesome.
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