A Boy's Mom

Now that it's sunk in that our world won't be just trains, trucks and sports, I'm relishing in these last few months where I'm solely a mother of a boy. I've gotten quite good at building lego mansions, constructing intricate train tracks and turning anything into swords. I can name a ridiculous amount of the Thomas engines and have become accustomed quite well to dirt. Everywhere.

When the word "mommy" comes out of his mouth, or when he bats his big blue eyes at me, I melt. I've learned how to kiss his boo boos while teaching him to be strong at the same time. He trusts me and I trust him. He knows I'm always here for him and I pray that never goes away.

We dance. A lot. Mostly it's when daddy isn't around, but it's our special time. Sometimes he puts his little feet on mine while I move us around, but mostly we just hold hands and giggle as we spin around. Our bond is like nothing I could have dreamed of, yet it's everything I could have ever wanted. 

I was his first kiss and his first love. For the next few months I will be sucking up every minute of our time together. My fears about him thinking I'm spending too much time with a newborn are real. I'm terrified that he'll think I love him less but someday I'll explain that he made me a mother. There will be other children in the picture, but he started this journey as a parent for me. For that, he's special. 

Soon there will be dolls and pink and bows, but not yet.

For now it's balls and fire engines and planes.

For now I'm mommy to a boy.