Am I the only one in the world left who appreciates a good thank you note? I realize that handwritten letters have mostly been replaced with emails and even birthday cards and party invites have been hijacked by ecards and evites. I understand people are generally busy and don't have time to hand write a note, but is it acceptable to not acknowledge a gift at all?
I grew up in a household stressing the importance of prompt, hand written thank you cards. I'll admit though, as a 'youngster' I dreaded the arduous process after birthday parties and Christmas, but knew my mother would give me no choice. Somewhere around my time in college, I began to appreciate thank you notes; both giving and receiving them. I found pleasure in finding adorable cards and written personalized notes in them knowing they would elicit a smile from the recipient. It began to bug me that others did not feel they were needed any longer. In fact, I still give my BFF crap for never getting a thank you card for her wedding gift!
I know the 'norms' have changed over the years, but is it not mandatory for people to write a thank you for all wedding gifts? Shouldn't it be even more mandatory if say someone wasn't even able to attend the wedding, yet still sent a nice gift? What about baby gifts after the birth? I like to splurge on newborn baby gifts with something from Janie and Jack... does that not warrant a brief thank you note? I had a baby too, I know how busy life is, but you can bet your ass I wrote a thank you for every gift received. I appreciated people spending their hard earned money on gifts for my child. Am I ranting now?
I totally agree! My Mom used to force me but now that I'm older, I'm glad she did. It's still nice to get real, paper mail! Couldn't agree more.
ReplyDeleteTotally with you on this one! I write thank you notes for everything - gifts from students, my mother-in-law watching Leland for us (accompanied by chocolate usually), etc. I get irritated because my sisters-in-law now send photo cards (like the birth announcement type cards) as thank yous - just pictures of the birthday child with a generic "Thanks for the presents!" It takes no effort for them whatsoever and drives me bonkers! I spend time trying to pick out a nice, meaningful birthday gift and I get the same thank you as everyone else, and that's if they even remember to send them. Just seems insincere and rude, really. When Leland had his first birthday, I made sure everyone got a thank you card with a sincere, thoughtful note. Ugh...sorry for the rant, but I can't stand it.
ReplyDeleteYes, yes, yes! I think a thoughtful note should always be written and sent promptly! Someone took the time (and money) to think of you - the least you can do is write them a note and pay for a stamp. And if for some reason circumstances don't allow for you to write one by hand, at least send them an email or text or something acknowledging you got it and appreciate it! I could go on and on because I feel very strongly about this subject, but I'll stop there :)
ReplyDeleteYou are NOT alone. I grew up in a huge family and regardless of whether I received the gift in person or not, I had to write thank you notes. As a super youngster, I even drew pictures...and my Gramma still has every single one! It's adorable to see the progression! To this day I love getting hand written letters/thank you notes in the mail! My girl friends and I are really good about it and try to send them every month or two for random things!
ReplyDeleteWe were never birthday/Christmas thank you card people but it bugs me ROYALLY when people don't send thank you cards for baby showers or weddings. Dude, thank you notes come with most wedding invite packages so what exactly are they doing with those blank thank you notes?!
ReplyDeleteI agree! We always send thank you notes and I make Presley "sign" them. It's really irritating when you go to the trouble of picking out a gift and someone can't write a quick note to say thanks.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE thank you notes, or non bill mail in general. I like to show people I appreciate what they did for us. Most people don't care though haha.
ReplyDeleteI'm completely on board. I'm a huge believer in thank you cards. And I even made Taylor "sign" her cards after her birthday party.
ReplyDeleteNow, here is a question for you - we don't do thank you cards after Christmas. I've never heard of that. Is that the norm or is my family really missing out on some big etiquette ordeal?
I do appreciate thank-you notes (and try to be diligent in sending them, although I definitely fail a lot. I try to be particularly diligent in sending them in people who I know really want/expect them and those that always send them to me...that seems fair enough!!) but I think I like it even more when someone specifically mentions/points out/thanks you for an item at a different time. Like my dad called the other night to say he was using this grill thing we'd given him for his birthday and told us how great it was and how much he appreciated it. Or when my sister texts to say she'd painted her nails w/ the polish we gave her and got so many compliments and she loves it. I kind of like that better than a card given out of tradition. But I'm not opposed to the cards, either. :)
ReplyDeleteYes! Handwritten notes are so necessary! I gave one to a friend after she gave me a gift and she said she didn't have any notecards like mine, so what did I do when her birthday rolled around? Gave her notecards, obviously. I definitely expect them after a shower or wedding gift and you should keep giving your BFF a hard time!
ReplyDeleteMy mom always had us write thank you cards too! Now, I still love to send/receive hand written notes. I always do hand written birthday party invites for my kids too! More fun!
ReplyDeleteI am all about thank you notes, there is nothing nicer than receiving or sending one.
ReplyDeleteI'm TOTALLY going to tell on myself...here goes...
ReplyDeleteI HATE writing thank you's! And I feel very guilty that I do. Actually, something that has been weighing on my mind a lot lately is the fact that I have yet to finish my Thank You's from my baby shower...A YEAR AGO! I am going to be honest and say it's pure laziness on my part and I know it. I think I hate doing it because whenever we have an event we have about a million people, which results in a million gifts, ending in a million thank you notes. After about the 10th note I'm over it. So sad but so true.
I will take this post as a nice little reminder to get my butt in gear...and apologize to the masses in advance. :(
Bad Mama!
Please don't judge me... :)
Maegan
lovethemama.blogspot.com
And I have to add that not sending a thank you does not mean I'm ungrateful! I am a very blessed person with amazing people in my life and I'm thankful for everything they do for me and my little family! :)
DeleteCan you tell I feel very guilty?!
Yes, thank you notes are great. It took me about 6 months to get all the Thank Yous sent out from our wedding gifts, but I eventually did them all and that's all that matters, right? :)
ReplyDeleteI will say, I was reading something about the etiquette of Thank You cards once, and it said that if you thank someone in person, then no Thank You card is necessary. So like, if you attend a baby shower or birthday party and they open the gifts in front of you and thank you there, then technically they don't NEED to send a card... but it's still a nice gesture.
Man, I must be getting old then! I've never heard of this! I've always expected wedding, shower and bday thank yous, but guess I shouldn't anymore!
DeleteGirl, I am right there with you on this. Thank you cards are important and mandatory. Less than three weeks after our wedding we had ALL of our thank yous written and mailed. There are a few things I really take pride in, and good, personal, and prompt thank yous is one of them.
ReplyDeleteWhen we give gifts I take it very personal when a real, hand written thank you isn't sent.
I am usually pretty good about getting Thank You cards out in that mail, especially now that my kids are older and we don't usually open presents AT the party. Sometimes people don't include cards, or they gets lost in the pack up process, so I do my best to match them up. I HATE writing generic cards, I prefer to write specific one. I guess the beauty is that a six year old can really only pull off "Thank you for my present," so it's not too bad.
ReplyDeleteBut honestly, I don't expect them for kids birthday parties or anything. I like getting them for baby showers and weddings (when I spend more that $15), but not from kids. And we've never really done thank you's after Christmas...
Totally agree with you! I wrote the majority of our thank you cards for wedding gifts the day after! I had one gift that did not have a card or say who it was from. To this day, I still stress over who gave it to us and worry they think I'm rude for not sending a card!
ReplyDeleteI literally wrote a post EXACTLY like this. I still write up thank-you cards for everything! gifts or note, my parents raised me that way & you can bet your sweet bippy, I'll be teaching it to mine. SO between you and I two little ohioans will be sending snail mail :)
ReplyDeleteI 1000% agree with you! I despised writing thank you cards for graduation and my wedding (70+ thank yous take FOREVER), but I did it! It also dries me crazy if a person writes a thank you that is basically 2 sentences and says "thank you for the,___________. I loved it." I put a lot of effort into my cards and have gotten many compliments on how nice they are. I just don't think they are valued in today's society.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.themarriedme.com
I agree! I am BIG on thank you notes!! All my friends and family call me the Hallmark girl because I always send notes and promptly haha I just think it's important to do when someone sends you a gift! :)
ReplyDeleteI am so glad to see the vast majority, if not all, of the input here agrees that handwritten Thank You notes are still a valued expression of the appreciation you have of someone's time, thought, and money to get you or your Little One a gift. When it comes to immediate family, though, I tend to agree that it's not as much a necessity (especially if you live in the same town and verbally express your thanks on different occasions) but still it is a nice gesture.
ReplyDeleteWe are kindred spirits, because I was JUST thinking to myself, "Don't people send thank you notes anymore??!" For my wedding, and both baby showers, I wrote them promptly (maybe even the day of the shower) after the event so a personal note would be fresh on my mind. Recently, I've sent several cards with gifts and have never heard back from the girls. (Not even on FB.) I don't want to sound like a crotchety old lady, but I think it's nice to acknowledge a gift or act of kindness with a thank you card. Some girls my age hate doing this, so I guess it's becoming outdated?? {I'm 31.} I should add, I think even if you thank someone in person, a card should still be mailed.
ReplyDeleteXOXO,
Meredith
P.S. I don't send them for my kids' birthdays or Christmases, as it's just family and gifts are mutually exchanged.
You are right on! The only thing I love more than sending a little handwritten thank you note is receiving one. You better believe we sent one for every shower & wedding gift and for every baby gift too. Busy and sleep deprived but we still found the time to say Thank You to someone willing to be thoughtful and think of us. I find it particularly annoying when I buy a gift online and have it shipped to the recipient. I would like to know it arrived safely without having to investgate with a tracking number. There is something so special about a handwritten note... Maybe it's old fashion but some manners stand the test of time.
ReplyDeleteI think it depends on the event. Weddings, Bridal and Baby showers, things like that I would think thank you cards were the norm. I did them for both the bridal and baby shower [we didnt have a traditional wedding]. Individual birthdays and things I don't really do.
ReplyDeleteI am absolutely pro thank yous, but not necessarily in the form of cards. Especially for baby gifts, since the parents are so sleep deprived. My favorite thank you in that circumstance is a texted or emailed picture of the baby actually wearing/using the gift. I think it's even better than a hand-written notes, because who doesn't like seeing baby pics!?
ReplyDeleteI love thank-you notes. I grew up in that house too, where it's not even a question--you said a thank you note for everything. My mom always made it fun by always making sure we had cute ones to send or would help us make some. I love sending them, and receiving them. Its the small things that make a big difference.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you... The power of a thank you note is so
ReplyDeleteOops... The power of a thank you note is so strong. I get so frustrated when people don't send them.
DeleteFunny that you are writing about this, as I just sent out a stack of thank you's the other day from Drake's arrival. I feel like that's all I've been doing lately is buying stamps...for thank you's, birth announcements, and Chloe's birthday invitations. I feel guilty not sending a thank you, however it doesn't really cross my mind if I don't receive one from others. I just like getting mail that's not junk and solicitations period, so I'd always welcome letters or little notes.
ReplyDeleteWe are a thank you note family! In fact, at "Meet the Teacher Night," I suggest that parents encourage their kids to write thank you notes for the writing practice! ;)
ReplyDeleteI completely agree! They're worth the effort!
ReplyDeleteI love this post and 100% agree!
ReplyDeleteNope, you're not alone. Don't even get me started on my friend who didn't send out thank you cards for attending her wedding shower OR wedding. And we had given her a self-addressed envelope!
ReplyDeleteYou're not alone! We do thank you cards. Em even looks forward to writing them!
ReplyDeleteI LOVE writing thank you notes!
ReplyDeleteI just got married less than 2 months ago and it was my goal to have thank you notes out within two months and we had them done within a month and a half! Love writing them and sending them.